It was late one evening on a school night when I received a phone call from my girlfriend. She wanted me to come over and join a few of our friends. She was very attractive and I liked her a lot.
When I arrived, we greeted each other with a friendly kiss, and then she took my hand and led me up the stairs. I could tell she had been drinking. When I told her I didn’t want to be the one to take her virginity, she cried. I think deep down she really didn’t want to have sex either, and deep within me I knew having sex was not the right thing to do.
She had a bright future before her, and I did not want to risk robbing her of those dreams. The worst part was – she was in no condition to remember what should be one of the most exciting and memorable events of her life. Our relationship went to a higher level that night as we had more respect for one another.
I grew up in a medium sized town with two wonderful parents that gave me the ability dream of a bright future and the tools to succeed. That doesn’t mean I chose the right tools all the time. I had my occasional stupid mistakes, but by the grace of God I was able to finish high school with only a few scares and walk into college with a clean slate. Keeping my virginity is the one thing I knew was totally mine, and I had the choice of when, where, and to whom I wanted to give it. I was determined to save myself for one special girl, my wife, and I hoped my wife would have the same goals and intentions.
My college years were some of the best years of my life. Remember that future I was talking about earlier? Let me share some things I believe are a direct result of making some good decisions. The major university I applied to accepted me on the first try! I was selected into a very honorable fraternity my freshman year and was voted President my senior year. During my college years, I also worked with the youth group in my church. My senior year I actually became the director of the junior high program. Working with those kids every week and being a positive role model for them was of utmost importance to me.
It was also during my senior year in college that I married. She is a beautiful lady, and yes she had waited. We honeymooned in Canada. It was amazing!!! Later that year we both graduated from college in the same ceremony. That was fun! I enrolled in a seminary and received two master degrees while my wife taught school to pay the bills. I started my own business and for the past few years I’ve had a blast helping families and businesses with financial management issues. We are now expecting our first child in the fall. Last week we found out we’re having a boy! We are about to move back to my hometown to open our own office. How exciting the journey has been over the past 27 years including almost 5 years of marriage!
I hope you can understand how difficult it was to say no to sex in my relationships before marriage. It took a tremendous amount of determination and discipline. But it helped me to stay focused on two things: (1) I always realized the girl I was dating was someone’s daughter, sister, and/or granddaughter. (2) I was also determined I never wanted to be responsible for destroying a girl’s future.
I hope you will be a positive influence to your friends and those you date. It’s not always the easiest decision, but it’s the honorable decision. I challenge you to look at your future with hope and a passion to follow what you know is true in your heart. Be strong. Make a difference! You’ll never regret it!